The Day Dr. Kishi a Senior Lecturer Realised Shouting Was Destroying Learning—and How She Changed

Listen to Dr Kishi, a Senior Lecturer at Kingston University, explain how her approach to communicating with her students has changed after practicing the SEJ Process.

I used to believe I was a good lecturer—someone who could manage and control a classroom with confidence. As a university educator, I often teach classes of up to 100 students, and I thought authority meant being strict.

One day, a colleague casually mentioned that students referred to me as “Scary Dr Kishi.” I laughed it off at first, thinking it was amusing. But then came the moment that changed everything.

During a practical class with over 40 students, I found myself shouting. Suddenly, I noticed the look in their eyes—fear and shock. Some students stepped back; a few were visibly shaken. These were young adults, all over 18, yet the fear was real and intense. I apologised and carried on, but the image stayed with me.

The Realisation

When I returned to my office, it hit me: that lesson was wasted. My shouting didn’t help them learn; it only created fear. They wouldn’t remember the content—only that I lost my temper. Two hours gone, for them and for me.

Then I remembered how my own children reacted when I shouted at them. The same fear. The same withdrawal. And I realised something deeper: some of these students may have experienced being shouted at by authority figures before. My behaviour could have triggered old wounds.

Taking Responsibility

As an educator, I must manage myself before I manage a classroom. That day, I was out of control, not the students. So I turned to the Self Empowerment Journey (SEJ) Process to dissolve the thoughts that led me to shouting. The SEJ Process helped me regain calm and clarity.

My aim for Teaching

I believe every student has a light—a unique potential. My goal is for students to leave class feeling happy, having learned something new and interesting in a relaxed, enjoyable atmosphere. I want them to grow in confidence and expand their potential. When they wave goodbye at the end of class, I want us both to feel joy.

Love

Mariko