Bridgnorth woman urges people to get help as she tells her story to launch a new grief workshop

A Bridgnorth woman left devastated by the suicide of her twin sister is urging people to seek help after she said a mental health hub in the town saved her life.

Julie Brazier’s sister Janet took her own life three years ago - a tragedy that took a major toll on Julie and her husband Lyndon as Julie’s mental health declined. Lyndon and Julie contacted the Stay Mentally Healthy Hub in Bridgnorth and the life-changing difference that made has prompted Julie to tell her story in the hope that it will encourage others.

Julie said: “Janet and I were identical twins born in 1964, just 15 minutes apart, and were inseparable throughout our childhood and into adult life. We shared the same sense of humour, styled ourselves exactly the same and spoke in the same voice.

“In 2005 Janet lost her husband to cancer at the age of just 36. She adored him and, as a result, she tried to take her life with a mixture of paracetamol and over-the-counter sleep aids. When I arrived at her house I found her, called for an ambulance and she was admitted to hospital. 

“She was very distraught, but seemed more upset about what impact this would have had on me. She had a follow-up appointment with the local NHS Mental Health Team, who were satisfied that she was not likely to try this again and no further contact was made either by the hospital or the Mental Health Team.

“Over ensuing years we spent even more time together, speaking every day, texting, and messaging throughout the day. She called around weekly and we did lots of things together, including going away for long weekends, just the two of us. We were so happy together - no one else came close to what we had between us.    

“We often spoke about how she was, and there was no indication that she was not happy or not coping with things. Then, in May 2022, Lyndon and I were away in Wales on holiday. I had spoken to Janet throughout the week as usual and I had plans in place to have a spa day with lots of lovely, relaxing treatments on my return.

“I messaged her the day before we were due to return home, but she hadn’t read it. I continued to check my phone throughout the evening and into the early hours, but she still hadn’t read it. I knew something was wrong. As we journeyed home, I was unable to get any answer from her mobile phone or landline. I felt sick with worry.

“On arrival at her house we had to break in and we found her at the bottom of the stairs. She had hanged herself. I was hysterical. I couldn’t believe that she would have done this to herself and me 

“After two nights of no sleep and lots of crying with a variety of mixed emotions and disbelief that this was real, I became very unstable. I was not sure what I was supposed to do now. Was I supposed to join her? I was displaying concerning behaviour to my family and thinking of ways to end my life, or at least harm myself. 

“My son had made me promise that I wouldn’t do anything like Janet had done. I said I needed to see a doctor - I needed them to put me somewhere safe so I couldn’t harm myself, as I didn’t want to break my promise to my son. We went to see the GP  and she said she couldn’t do that but did prescribe antidepressants and some tablets to help me sleep. She also referred me for counselling.”

Despite a limited number of follow-up appointments with the GP, coming off the sleeping tablets and half a dozen ineffective counselling sessions, Julie’s situation failed to improve and 18 months later a different GP changed her antidepressants.

“By this time, my son had mentioned to me on a few occasions that Lyndon seemed to be struggling with his emotions,” said Julie.  “He seemed to be very angry about things, but mainly about the upset that Janet had caused our family, and in particular me. When I asked him about it, he said he was ok.  

“On a trip out, Lyndon lost his temper and had an irrational outburst, which was most out of character. Back home we discussed it, he started to cry and it became obvious that he needed some help. Fortunately, I had seen on Facebook that a Stay Mentally Healthy Hub was up and running and just around the corner from us.

“I sent an email to request help and we received a reply the same day offering an appointment the following week - I was happy he could be seen so quickly. Just a few days after that first meeting with Mary, Lyndon realised his anger had gone.

“He returned for his second session where he agreed he was feeling much lighter and didn’t need to continue. Mary made it clear he could return if he felt he needed to. A few weeks went by, and I was struggling. I didn’t seem to be getting over my loss and grief – it was in me every minute and in every thought.

“Every morning, I thought I needed to re-live the scenario in which we found my sister in order for me to believe that this was ‘real life,’ as it seemed that it must have been something I had watched on TV the night before - that Janet was still here with me and I had just had a nightmare. 

“I realised that I needed to see Mary, emailed the hub and saw her within a few days. I told her my story and explained how low I felt at times and that I felt I hadn’t received the right kind of counselling the first time. Mary listened to me and then helped me using the Self Empowerment Journey process.

“She said she could help me and for most people, even those with suicidal thoughts, it only takes two to three sessions. I was amazed that she thought I would be cured in this short time. I went for a second session which made me realise things I hadn’t considered, and it unearthed emotions that must have been buried within me. 

“We arranged a further session the following week. By this time, I was feeling much better, much lighter and when I arrived for my third session, I declared to Mary that I thought she had ‘fixed me’.  My waking thoughts had changed from something that had been horrific to something far more positive.

“I only stayed for half an hour as there was nothing more needed. Mary had cured me in two-and-a-half sessions. It has made a huge difference to my life. I have changed how I view things in my work, life, and family. It has encouraged me to build on my self-esteem and confidence, and I now feel in control again.

“I feel so empowered and focused that I am currently in the middle of a course through Worcester College on mental health in children and young people, so that I can be there for my five grandchildren as they develop into adulthood. 

“Lyndon and I are eternally grateful to Mary and the work she has provided through the Stay Mentally Healthy Hub. Mary is also helping my friend who was desperately in need as she was struggling and had considered taking her own life. 

“She has been on the waiting list to see an NHS counsellor for a good while. I talked to her about the help Mary offered, she agreed for me to email Mary and within a day Mary had contacted my friend and an appointment quickly arranged.”

Mary Phillips, founder of the of the Stay Mentally Healthy Hub, said: “Julie had been suffering since 2022 following a family suicide. After just two-and-a-half sessions and months later, she is still in a great place, no longer feeling suicidal but living a productive and joyful life.

“The family is so grateful for the speed of service. It is so rewarding to help people in this way - people often at the lowest point in their lives. The hub is not only changing lives but saving lives as well. Our Stay Mentally Healthy course is another way we can offer help with your grief. Whatever the reason for your grief, if you are grieving we’re here to share with you how you can begin to live again.”

For more information about the Bridgnorth-based Stay Mentally Healthy Hub visit https://www.staymentallyhealthy.org.uk/ or email  bridgnorth-hub@staymentallyhealthy.org.uk