Letting go of blame

"When you live well in the present the future takes care of itself"

What does it really mean to let go of blame?

Primarily, it allows you to cease dwelling on those you hold responsible and the relentless, tormenting thoughts that loop in your mind as you desperately search for a resolution that never arrives. This cycle can persist for days, weeks, or even years for some individuals.

So how do you let go of blame?

Firstly, it begins with the decision to stop hurting. That you are going to take responsibility for your own emotional and mental wellbeing and seek to grow from the situation. It is a move from the external situation to your internal awareness - growth and healing.

What steps can you take right now to begin the process of letting go of blame?

1.      Be honest with yourself about who you are blaming and why. Sometimes it may be obvious that there is blame, other times we invest a lot of time and energy in justifying and defending so we don’t see that we are blaming.

2.      Notice the need to ‘be right’ is an obstacle to growth. Ask yourself do you want to be right, or do you want to stop hurting? Do you want resolution?

3.      Become aware of the emotions that you are feeling, and understand that emotions such as anger, rage, resentment, jealousy, and feeling bitter are harming you. Firstly, the harm may be emotional and mental, but continued self-abuse, (and that’s what holding onto blame is) can also lead to physical illness.

4.      Acknowledge that even if the other person’s actions caused you initially to feel hurt, that through their actions you were wronged, you are continuing to hold onto that hurt. You are living in the past, re-living it in the present, suffering your own thoughts, suffering your memory, for the situation has passed.

Recognizing that you are accountable for your own thoughts, feelings, and actions signifies your readiness to heal. Furthermore, you gain the ability to heal because you are no longer relinquishing your power to others or the situation.

Now we are left with the question of how to heal, how do you stop the mind regurgitating the past, for it really isn’t easy is it? Well, with the desire to heal you are now ready to go within and let the healing begin.

Take a look at the events page for your next Stay Mentally Healthy Course where you learn a powerful process of self-enquiry – The SEJ Process. Once learnt you able to manage yourself no matter what life brings your way, you can live in the moment and let go of the past, and as for the future, well, when you live well in the present the future takes care of itself.

Love Mary x